I fall back into sin.

Love hurts,thus we lie.

we lie to our friends,parents,families,and ourselves.

I’ve been lying so many times that i really hate myself  because whenver i told lies,guilt arises.I lied as lie may comfort me and bring me to the safe zone. When people believe in you,you have to keep telling lies so that the lie will not be revealed.Someday,it will reveal itself  but i want to be the one to unveil it.

Love is blind that makes you fragile.

Crying makes my eyes smaller.

Ridiculous?In you,i am,but just you dont understand that i cry because i love you.I knew each time i cried,your heart was bleeding too,but i jus cant control myself and tears to flow down my cheeks.

p/s:i love you.

忧郁。犹豫。

心情。心晴。

没试。没事。

羡慕。嫉妒。

好想。好些。

笑容。削弱。

对不起。对不气。

穷途。未知路。

面子。免止。

希望。希妄。

我哭。我苦。

没有原因的自责。

难堪。

I realised that i was just too stupid to think of the negative sides.

No more time to be wasted and i have to manage myself as well as my time.

I could just live once,no second chance.

Contracting and relaxing.

Antagonistic life.

i wish to find back the past,but reluctant to let go the present.i’m just too greedy.

我只是被一个虚有的空壳/名义套上。

惯性成为名单内被列入的名字，

事实上只是个不被看好的垃圾。

随着时间的海浪漂流，

起起落落，

在他们眼中，

只是我怪。

渐渐被忽略。

成为了细菌。

在空气中坚强地，挣扎。

我羡慕她，

至少有爱情，她过得很好。

可是，当我独自走入人海，只能默默看着别人的影子。

我羡慕，两个好朋友无时无刻都黏在一起，

我需要，我留了个空位，却永远都没人坐。

可能是我离队了，

但我的理由却是没有原因留下。

降级了，从你心们的心里至我心。

我期望，还有你，我庆幸，还有你，

但是当我转过身，却发现你不能永远都在。

我不想让你看到我疲惫的背影。

遗憾，徘徊。

学习适应，放下。

That kind of feeling that you cant express in words how idle i was.

So sad,i failed to express myself..

感觉好像与身边的人越来越遥远，还是我只活在自己的世界里呢？

is time to stop and smell the roses.

感觉好幸福，虽然很无助，可是一转身，我就能感觉到你。

虽然遥远，心却与我同在。

Selamat Hari Raya~

Also a big day to my 80++-year-old grandma…Happy Birthday~

I wondered,why will i become so far away from my grandma…Actually i was brought up by my grandma…Frankly,i dont much remember what had happened when i was small..lost memory?

I used to think that the language was the obstacle for me to communicate with my grandma,but i knew i was totally wrong…Even my cousins could communicate with my grandma with chinese and my grandma replied using hakka or cantonese.And i realised,it was love.

‘Ah na wun deh deh’’s best friend ,Eddie was celebrating his Raya today.As our intention was to return something to him,Eddie’s family was too excited+friendly+passionate..even the innocent me in the car was invited to go in the house..I was so lost frankly..I dint know how to react at that time…Ambil salam?I let the car engine on,and went down…It was so embarassing…His mother wanted me to have some kuih raya on the table,but i refused to eat  ’cause we were rushing on time.I didnt tell mak cik the reason,and the mak cik showed me that kind of expression as i was very rude..so sad…I just,failed.

Wuwuwuwu..for your sake,i will learn to be better.I miss you~

“Something always brings me back to you,that is gravity.”

The distance between friends.

I realised,some factors pull us so far away.

I dont really understand your situation now,or i just dont manage to see your shadow.

The same goes to you i think.

Well,i’ll find a way to connect the gap,heart to heart.